I'm sure you are all aware of the term "cabin fever". On the off chance that you are not, think of a lonely prospector in the far north, or a trapper up in the mountains, getting ready for winter. He gets his provisions stored, cuts and stacks the winter's firewood, and as the first snow flies he closes all the windows, fires up his stove and settles back for six or seven months of frozen solitude.
At first things are fine. He reads books, cooks, stokes the fire, goes back to his book and then goes to bed. In the morning, possibly he has to break some ice in order to carry some water from the nearby stream for washing and coffee and maybe he (or she!) has to split a few logs for the stove . But after breakfast, basically it's back to his book until dinner and bedtime. And this is the routine day after day, for months. And months. And months! No one to talk to, no one to share a laugh with, no one to argue with except maybe his cat or dog if he's lucky enough to have one.
Then one day he has a very interesting conversation with himself, out loud! He broods for days over this, and what he should have said to himself. A few days later he has an argument. With himself! And then another. A week later he throws his dinner against the wall and tells himself that he will no longer put up with the crap that his self is cooking for him. He almost comes to blows with himself, and he threatens to sleep in the other room if things don't improve. After another few days he makes good on his threat and starts sleeping in the second bedroom, in the one room cabin. In the spring his partners discover his frozen body on the porch of his cabin! Cabin Fever!
The world is getting cabin fever! I am getting cabin fever! And it hasn't been a few months, it's been a year!! And just when it looked like the cold weather was breaking and spring was around the corner we are told, "get back inside, another blizzard is coming!" I haven't spoken a coherent conversation to anyone except Sharon for months. At least not live. There are zoom calls, but I am now having trouble distinguishing them from the television. Are you people real or am I in The Truman Show? And after sitting inside for a year doing nothing I now have nothing to say. Nothing new has happened to me. Sharon gets out hiking with a few friends regularly but because I am the living embodiment of the 2000 Year Old Man, and have no spleen, I have to be wary of people walking by our apartment building, three floors below! Sharon had to drag me off the balcony the other day when I started shouting at someone a block away who was not wearing a mask. If you saw me early in the morning out walking the dog you would mistake me for The Elephant Man as I scurry through the shadows staying as far away from all those diseased wretches as possible. Sharon keeps looking at me as if she expects me to suddenly shout "HERE'S JOHNNY!"
So what's my point you ask? Why am I on this strange tirade? The following is an excerpt from my latest inner monologue and is meant for my ears only. You can safely skip it and go on to the conclusion.
"But I'm so bored, when is this going to end? HEY! Remember when Niles slapped Frasier's face for suggesting they go to a restaurant where they didn't even NEED a reservation. Wake up! No one is asking you to charge over a hill in the face of rifles and artillery. No one is asking you to suit up with three layers of PPE and spend 14 hours on your feet trying to save the life of someone who had to go to work or face starvation. All they are doing is asking you to stay at home and watch another bad movie on your big screen TV. But its been a year and I'm afraid it will never end. HEY! Remember when Cher slapped Nicholas Cage's face and shouted Snap Out of It? Well, SNAP OUT OF IT! This is going to end and you will go out and bask in the freedom and never again take your privilege for granted, I hope. Remember, I know you. You will remember and will exaggerate your sacrifice to anyone who will listen until their eyes roll back in their heads. So buckle up, pull up your socks and get back inside and watch the latest episode of The Rich Housewives of Salt Lake City. You can do it, I know you can."
What, are you still here? I thought I could hear you snoring. I guess the point of this is, don't give up when the gold, and the goal, is so close. Once again the hospital intensive care is overflowing and the system is stretched to the limit and beyond. Much as we want it to be, this is not over. Take a deep breath and carry on carrying on. If we are not on the front lines of this fight we have only one job. Don't make it harder for those that are. I can do this, WE can do this. The fighting will stop one day. The snow will melt. And when it does and we stumble, bleary eyed, out of our fox holes, and cabins, we want to be able to say "I love the sound of laughter in the morning".
And my apologies to all the script writers I twisted and plagiarized!
