The Fight against Complacency

 Every time I start one of these I am awestruck by the size of my ego. To think that there is anyone who would care, one way or another, about what I think about anything is more than a trifle egotistical. But like a fat man looking at an eclair, it's there, I have to eat it. I had an idea, I have to write it down. And if you were foolish enough to get to this page by mistake, or even through carelessness, it's on your head. So today I post some personal thoughts about complacency, both usual and as it pertains to the pandemic.

The pandemic has been raging for months and at the moment is getting worse by the day. And yet the caution that I felt in the beginning has largely disappeared. I suppose through what they are calling "Covid fatigue". One can only stay on guard for so long before your attention starts to wander. You peek your head over the top of the trench and, ping, they pick you off. I seem to remember having the same problem in school, so why am I surprised; "Ken could do so much better if only he would pay attention in class!" An additional sixty years doesn't seem to have solved the problem. But at least now I know it's a problem and I try to guard against it. When an idea for doing something outside of the confines of my limited personal interactions comes up I have to slap my imaginary face more often now. That little voice that says "it'll be alright," has to be stomped on and shut back in the closet. And I have to keep reminding myself of how stupid I would feel if I was very careful for months and then died because I thought some event or occasion would make a nice blog post or a picture.  Here lies Ken Taylor, he got the picture. Too bad it was out of focus!

And I certainly don't think I am the only one. We all want our old life back. I'm trying, but I don't think I have fully incorporated the fact that that's not happening. Ever. Things will be different. The problem is, as yet, we don't know exactly how different. Is it simply that I will have to get an extra shot in the arm every few months or will I have to live the rest of my life wearing a giant rubber condom whenever I leave the house. Maybe that's the problem. I can't see the shape of the future. I just know I want to have one. So I have to keep telling myself that I shouldn't change what seems to be working. Ignore the sirens on the rocks that keep waving at me and saying that life is much more exciting where they are. They never tell you that it might be much shorter as well.

It is especially hard when you are in a new place and want to get out and experience it. Otherwise why are you here in the first place? Top that off with the fact that I have never been the poster boy for delayed gratification and you have a recipe for disaster. When my mother left the room and I was alone with two cookies, having just been told to save one for later, there was never a look of surprise on her face when she returned to find me licking the table top and not a cookie in sight. Oh she tried, I'll give her that. But I always seemed to know that there were more cookies where those came from. Couple that with the attention span of a flea and I was on to other things and other adventures. Which I proceeded to gobble up with equal abandon.

So what's my point? For the first time in seventy .....  years I am realizing that, this time, if I eat the second cookie there might not be any more. In fact, if I eat that cookie there might not be any more ME. Sobering thought. I want each of you to pause for a moment and take that in. Imagine how colourless and grey your life would be without me in it.  It won't matter to me, I'll be dead so I won't know, or care. But you! All of you will have to go through the rest of your drab and featureless existences without me and the constant inspiration I provide. And just now, realizing that, suddenly I an infused with a new commitment to the care and attention ... of me! I have new motivation. I can do this. For you, all of you. Even those of you who will be completely unaware of the work and sacrifice I am putting in. Just so you can continue to have an example before you of what can be achieved if you fritter away every opportunity presented to you and relentlessly pursue each shiny new bauble that appears on the horizon. A life some might deem wasted, but you and I know, is the pinnacle of achievement. That oh so exclusive club of dilatants and vagabonds secretly admired by everyone for their seemingly carefree and useless lives.  Grasshoppers of the world arise!

So I am hereby dedicating it to you, whoever and wherever you are. Come back to this blog in the coming months and realize that you have had a small part in its continued worldwide success. Please, no need to thank me. I am buoyed by picturing the statues that will be erected to me in the future and by the fact that, if I am really careful, I'll bet I can outlive The Orange Idiot. Now there's a goal, (and an opportunity to gloat!) that is worthy of striving for.

I am renewed. Thank you.

Living With Constant Difference

 

   Living With Constant Difference - How to describe the expat life

    I have been trying for sometime to figure out how to describe, in a visual sense, just what the expat lifestyle is like and the hurdles and joys of what a person faces when they decide to live in a strange country. Lo and behold the other day I ran across a fruit I had never seen before which perfectly embodies everything in Ecuador that I find puzzling and wonderful at the same time. 

                            Behold the Granadilla fruta. 

   When I first saw it I thought, "Oh, it's an orange, a little different but I've had different oranges all over the world, this is just another variety." So I picked it up and, surprise surprise, the outer shell is hard. Not like a nut, but hard. And here begins your first lesson in the expat life. Whatever you think you know, you are probably wrong. Things may look almost familiar but starting right from the surface they are not. Time to rearrange your expectations. But don't worry, this is not a bad thing, it's just different. And you will have to adapt. Wherever you are, it's you that will have to make the change. The country may have a hard shell but with just a little effort on your part it will give up it's secrets.

   So what are your first steps? Well, lets try to peel away some layers and discover what lies beneath. It can't be all hard shell. So you make your first tentative tries at peeling away some of the outer protective layer to see what's inside. We all have a outer shell which we use to ward off that which might attack us and it's the same with countries. Sometimes they don't give up their secrets right away. You are the foreigner, so you are the one that has to make the first gentle tries at getting under that hard exterior.

   So we begin, gently peeling away the outer shell. 

   Whatever we do we don't want to bruise what's underneath. After all, that's why it has a hard shell in the first place. But the good thing is, whatever is inside is probably worth the effort. 

   And as soon as we start we immediately come to something we think we recognize. It's the white skin you will see on the inside of an orange. The kind of sinew that holds the pieces of pulp together. So now we are in familiar territory and we can relax a bit. This is not so strange after all. It was just the outer shell that was different. I'll be able to figure this country out in no time and be perfectly comfortable, right? Not so fast!

   By now we have spent a few months in our new country, we have run across a few hard shells, and now we are ready to try to dig a little deeper and really get at the fruit. How different can it be. Just peel away this second skin and get to the juicy fruit part. So we take some Spanish classes, study a bit of history, are pleasant and nice to everyone, and then we break the skin a bit and find... not what we were expecting at all! 

   Underneath all that protection is a tender sack filled with seeds, and all held together with a kind of jelly-like substance that you don't recognize at all. In Ecuador, and in every country on earth, this is the essence of what the country really is. The seeds of what it is, held together by something you've never seen before. And it is completely foreign to everything you know. Some of it, if you are honest, is even a little off putting. Is this something you could get used to? Are you even going to try it? It looks a bit slippery. And how do I eat it? This doesn't even look like it belongs in the fruit category. Kind of like the first time you were encouraged to eat a snail or an oyster.  Guess what, it's a test my friend. Welcome to expat life.

   So get out  your bowl and spoon and start digging. You have to be determined to make a go of this. And surprisingly, everything comes out easily. The seeds are held together by the jelly and it all comes out in one piece. And now comes the ultimate  test. Are you going to trust what others tell you and put it in your mouth?

    At this point you are allowed to make a compromise. You are an expat after all. No one is going to fault you if you don't do exactly as the locals do. If it makes you feel better, add something you are more familiar with, like another fruit, and some granola, and then some milk, and away you go!

   And guess what. it's fabulous! Slightly sweet, smooth, and the seeds are crunchy and delicious. With the granola and a banana you declare that this is going to be your new go-to-breakfast. And, to top it off, apparently it is very good for you. Who would have thought? But that's the mantra of expat life. Try it, you'll probably like it.

   So it's time to sum up what we have learned today about expat life, wherever you are experiencing it in the world. It's never what you think it's going to be. In an earlier blog post I mentioned that at home, time was always  speeding by without you being aware of its passing until one day you said, "Man that year went by quickly." But remember when you were a kid in grade school and summer vacation seemed to go on forever? That was because you were doing something new every day. Things you had never done before. And the reason it speeds by now is because every day you are doing things you have done many times before. You are set on automatic. Expat life is like summer vacation when you were seven. New things, surprising things, exciting things, puzzling things... every day! Some you will embrace, some you will take a pass on. You don't have to love everything. But at no time will you be bored. And guess what, life does seems to slow down! You will never become a native. Don't even try. You don't have enough time. But around every corner is a new adventure. Every day is a chance to learn something new and to challenge yourself. A chance to grow.  

   And, just like when you were seven, it's a never ending summer vacation!                                      

                 Remember Einstein's definition of insanity!

Don't Get Excited

   As always, I am sitting here wondering what to do for a blog post. Initially when we started this it was supposed to be about our new adventures in Ecuador. To most of you that was probably evident from the title. However, the pandemic hit and adversely affected everything, including this blog. Being of a certain age, which unfortunately begins with a seven, the best advice for me was (is) to stay inside, avoid contact with all those filthy diseased persons roaming the streets trying to infect me, wash my hands, and hope I'm still around when the vaccine arrives. Which I have done. However, posting "I walked the dog, I read a book, I watched TV", every week doesn't inspire return visits to our blog.  So I have been racking my brain for something new. And then it came to me!  I'm old, I mean OLD. And since every persons' life is unique, and I seem to have had a bit more varied life than most, maybe I should just occasionally write a post about that. So that's what I'm about to do. At this point you are free to switch to the latest episode of  "The Bold and the Beautiful" if you like, but the gems of wisdom will be few and far between over there.

Don't Get Excited... It Might Not Happen

   I heard the above expression the other day and I was immediately struck by what a load of... bad advice... it was, on every level. For starters, we all get very few opportunities to get really excited about anything in this life. It just plods along with things continuing to proceed in what seems like an ever repeating loop.  Months, sometimes years, go by without us even being aware that time is passing. And passing us by. If you listen carefully you can hear yourself saying "Where the hell did the summer go?"

   And then the prospect of something exciting happening to us appears on the horizon! Suddenly the days are brighter, the sun is shining, the air is cleaner, and all our senses are tuned, humming, and pointed in one direction. We remember what we did yesterday and we are anticipating what we are going to do tomorrow. Schedules are cleared, plans are made, and we tingle with new possibilities. Life is no longer a plod to the unknown but a shining pathway to a brighter future.

And then someone says "Don't get excited... it might not happen". 

   Now I realize that they are just trying to protect us from disappointment. But life is full of disappointment almost every day. We can handle disappointment.  Disappointment is the thing that we are best trained to deal with. In fact, from birth, we are constantly wishing we were smarter, more athletic, better looking, more artistic, more musical, better at math... do I need to go on? We don't need to be protected from disappointment, we are fully armored against it, daily, almost from the moment we open our eyes and realize we are wearing Pampers and not Huggies. 

   But excitement for the future, that only happens rarely. Even if it's only a possible future. So when it happens we should roll in it, wallow, fantasize about it, spread it on fresh bread and eat it. 

   If you grew up in a small town or a close knit neighbourhood you will remember that there were always a couple of old guys you would see around, doing the same things they had been doing for fifty years. Herman would stride off down the street with hopeful expectation, wishing a "good morning!" to everyone he met and meeting the new day with anticipation. Festus on the other hand would glower at you and simply grunt if you greeted him on the street. Every town had their Hermans and Festuses (Festi?) and they were spoken about a lot. When they were gone people often spoke fondly of Herman, the fun things he did and said, and what a good life he had. 

   Festus... not so much.

   So what's the difference? Herman saw the potential of every day. He got excited. It might happen! And sometimes it did, simply because he was ready and open to any and all ideas. Even near the end he could get excited remembering things that had almost happened. His life was broad and full.

   Festus... not so much. 

   So from my perch in what will be your future, get excited! Have faith, and hope that good things will happen. And when you are in that state, things that you never expected will come running around the corner and slam right into you. And your life will change in completely unexpected ways. Then, when you get older than rock, like yours truly, you might find yourself living in the sun in Ecuador, wondering "How the hell did I get here, and could the whole thing have been any more fun?"

   I don't think so.

                             Get Excited!