Living With Constant Difference

 

   Living With Constant Difference - How to describe the expat life

    I have been trying for sometime to figure out how to describe, in a visual sense, just what the expat lifestyle is like and the hurdles and joys of what a person faces when they decide to live in a strange country. Lo and behold the other day I ran across a fruit I had never seen before which perfectly embodies everything in Ecuador that I find puzzling and wonderful at the same time. 

                            Behold the Granadilla fruta. 

   When I first saw it I thought, "Oh, it's an orange, a little different but I've had different oranges all over the world, this is just another variety." So I picked it up and, surprise surprise, the outer shell is hard. Not like a nut, but hard. And here begins your first lesson in the expat life. Whatever you think you know, you are probably wrong. Things may look almost familiar but starting right from the surface they are not. Time to rearrange your expectations. But don't worry, this is not a bad thing, it's just different. And you will have to adapt. Wherever you are, it's you that will have to make the change. The country may have a hard shell but with just a little effort on your part it will give up it's secrets.

   So what are your first steps? Well, lets try to peel away some layers and discover what lies beneath. It can't be all hard shell. So you make your first tentative tries at peeling away some of the outer protective layer to see what's inside. We all have a outer shell which we use to ward off that which might attack us and it's the same with countries. Sometimes they don't give up their secrets right away. You are the foreigner, so you are the one that has to make the first gentle tries at getting under that hard exterior.

   So we begin, gently peeling away the outer shell. 

   Whatever we do we don't want to bruise what's underneath. After all, that's why it has a hard shell in the first place. But the good thing is, whatever is inside is probably worth the effort. 

   And as soon as we start we immediately come to something we think we recognize. It's the white skin you will see on the inside of an orange. The kind of sinew that holds the pieces of pulp together. So now we are in familiar territory and we can relax a bit. This is not so strange after all. It was just the outer shell that was different. I'll be able to figure this country out in no time and be perfectly comfortable, right? Not so fast!

   By now we have spent a few months in our new country, we have run across a few hard shells, and now we are ready to try to dig a little deeper and really get at the fruit. How different can it be. Just peel away this second skin and get to the juicy fruit part. So we take some Spanish classes, study a bit of history, are pleasant and nice to everyone, and then we break the skin a bit and find... not what we were expecting at all! 

   Underneath all that protection is a tender sack filled with seeds, and all held together with a kind of jelly-like substance that you don't recognize at all. In Ecuador, and in every country on earth, this is the essence of what the country really is. The seeds of what it is, held together by something you've never seen before. And it is completely foreign to everything you know. Some of it, if you are honest, is even a little off putting. Is this something you could get used to? Are you even going to try it? It looks a bit slippery. And how do I eat it? This doesn't even look like it belongs in the fruit category. Kind of like the first time you were encouraged to eat a snail or an oyster.  Guess what, it's a test my friend. Welcome to expat life.

   So get out  your bowl and spoon and start digging. You have to be determined to make a go of this. And surprisingly, everything comes out easily. The seeds are held together by the jelly and it all comes out in one piece. And now comes the ultimate  test. Are you going to trust what others tell you and put it in your mouth?

    At this point you are allowed to make a compromise. You are an expat after all. No one is going to fault you if you don't do exactly as the locals do. If it makes you feel better, add something you are more familiar with, like another fruit, and some granola, and then some milk, and away you go!

   And guess what. it's fabulous! Slightly sweet, smooth, and the seeds are crunchy and delicious. With the granola and a banana you declare that this is going to be your new go-to-breakfast. And, to top it off, apparently it is very good for you. Who would have thought? But that's the mantra of expat life. Try it, you'll probably like it.

   So it's time to sum up what we have learned today about expat life, wherever you are experiencing it in the world. It's never what you think it's going to be. In an earlier blog post I mentioned that at home, time was always  speeding by without you being aware of its passing until one day you said, "Man that year went by quickly." But remember when you were a kid in grade school and summer vacation seemed to go on forever? That was because you were doing something new every day. Things you had never done before. And the reason it speeds by now is because every day you are doing things you have done many times before. You are set on automatic. Expat life is like summer vacation when you were seven. New things, surprising things, exciting things, puzzling things... every day! Some you will embrace, some you will take a pass on. You don't have to love everything. But at no time will you be bored. And guess what, life does seems to slow down! You will never become a native. Don't even try. You don't have enough time. But around every corner is a new adventure. Every day is a chance to learn something new and to challenge yourself. A chance to grow.  

   And, just like when you were seven, it's a never ending summer vacation!                                      

                 Remember Einstein's definition of insanity!