Advice -Part two

  I promised a Part Two which unfortunately means I have to provide one. Here it is. Enjoy.

   Understand one thing when you come to Ecuador, there is such a thing as the Gringo Price. On a lot of things. But understand another thing. You can bargain. Everywhere! Even the big box department stores will bargain. But you have to ask. More on that in a moment. Lets get back to the Gringo Price. 

When you go in to buy something here, the proprietor will quickly size you up and ask for whatever he thinks you might accept depending on his estimation of what he thinks you can pay. As a gringo it is just assumed you have money. Get used to it. Cry poverty all you want. In reality, even if you are as poor as a church mouse, I'll bet you live in a house or apartment with a bed for everyone and I'll bet you have money in the bank. So already you are better off than at least twenty five percent of the people here. Which doesn't mean you should have to pay more for everything, it just means the vendor is going to try to get a bit more from you than from someone that he knows is still cooking over an open fire in their house. And if he does get a bit more from you he can afford to get a bit less from that other person and, at the end of the day, still pay his bills.  So the question becomes, what are you going to do about it? You have three options; get mad, pout or bargain. We already covered option one previously. Option two is surprisingly ineffective. Which leaves, bargaining!

   Now sometimes it's just not worth it. If the going rate at the market for a dozen bananas is one dollar and you get asked for a dollar twenty five, is it worth it to bargain for twenty five cents? Personally, I don't think so. Pay and forget it, or don't shop there next time. However, if I get asked for a dollar fifty, I feel like I'm being taken advantage of and I will start the

process. Which means of course that you need to do some research. Shop a bit. See what other people are paying before you buy. And guess what, hanging around the market is FUN! Remember what I said last time about asking questions? People, no matter how or where they live, are proud, and are pleased to answer questions from someone who is genuinely curious to know and understand their culture. You will certainly see things you don't recognize and if you inquire about what they are and how to prepare them, people are more than happy to explain. And free samples are always proffered. Next time you come back you are suddenly bargaining with a smiling friend and no doubt you will get the local price. You can still bargain but now you are bargaining with a smile on your face. You are in on the game and not a sucker being taken advantage of. Practice your disappointed face. Whip it out when the price is mentioned. In the beginning it takes a bit of time but eventually when you go to the market you are spending time with friends rather than in a soulless, shrink-wrapped supermarket. And, because I know you have fully absorbed the lessons in part one, you are not rushing from one meeting to the next appointment so you can enjoy yourself.

   But what about the big box store I hear you ask? What if I'm buying a TV for instance? An aside here. Bring your heart medication with you if you are buying anything with a plug. There are no bargains here for those items compared to North America. The customs duties on items like this are heavy compared to the US and Canada, you will pay more. A lot more! But because the amounts are bigger it is even more important to shave some off if you can. 

   

   So bargain hard, having done your research of course. And don't be afraid to walk out. With a smile remember, you may be coming back if you can't do better elsewhere. Don't worry, if you left on good terms, even if you didn't buy, you will be welcomed back. Actually the owner will be very happy to see you because he knows the ropes. He knows you went looking and couldn't find a lower price so now you are back.  He'll probably throw in something to make you feel better now that he is clearly the winner. You will recognize when you have reached the final price, believe me. More than you want to pay? Well, you watch too much TV anyway!

   So now we move on to two other things which you will notice immediately when you  arrive in Ecuador. The first is how much smaller personal space is here. On the street you will start thinking people dislike Gringos . They will bump you in crowds and they will be breathing down your neck when you are standing in line for something. Relax, it's just that in public, personal space is not as important here as it is at home. It might be that it seems people will cut in line here without a thought if they can, so maybe people bunch up to stop it. I don't know. Just be aware. It's not you. It's the one thing Covid-19 helped, with the emphasis on social distancing. We will have to see if that carries on. I just mention it here so you won't take it personally.

   The second thing is a flip of the above, if you are older. There is a lot of respect for the elderly here. As a consequence, if you are older or have grey hair, as a general rule you will be immediately be waved to the front of the line. In fact, in many places there will be lines just for the elderly. And you qualify even if you are a Gringo. And believe me I take full advantage! As a result when I go to pay the phone bill or go to the bank, I will be in and out before the other line has even moved. Revel in your geezer-hood my friends, here it has advantages.

So, in conclusion, ask for the discount (sometimes called a "yapa"), bargain like an east coast fishwife, remembering that it's not personal so leave with a smile. And take advantage of those wrinkles, here they are respected. As they should be if you ask me.

Advice, part one

       Well loyal followers, it's been awhile. I have been derelict in my duties to you so I will try to make it up to you today. After all, I know you are all depending on me to provide you with the straight dope on what's happening down here. I thought it might be time for an overview of the little we have learned about living in Ecuador as an expat. So here goes.

    I know I've said this before, but if you are considering coming here and living you are going to have to give up some, or many, of your expectations. If you are thinking you will just live exactly as you are now but with better weather and for less money then you should stay home. Because you will have to adjust. A lot. So give me your hand and I will try to lead you around some of the pot holes you will encounter.

   Here's your first lesson, learn it well. It is crucial to you mental health. Ready? OK.

  Time means nothing here!  Seems an innocuous statement but it will affect every aspect of your life. And unless you accept it as a fact of life, and not something you can do something about, it will drive you crazy and send you home with your tail between your legs. Here's an example. You make an appointment with someone, a tradesman, a dentist, a friend, whatever, and you say you will meet them at a particular place at two pm. You show up at the designated meeting place at one fifty-five and you wait.  And you wait. And wait! Now they may show up at two thirty, at three, or never. What you have failed to realize is that your appointment is only a loose expectation and something more urgent may happen, which might preclude them keeping the appointment, and why wouldn't you understand that . Happens to everyone right? Why would you get upset? Unless you are dying and need urgent surgery, everything can wait until tomorrow, or the next day. It will happen, just not necessarily on your time schedule. And believe it or not, for you this attitude has some benefits if you take a moment to think about them. For a start if you look at your watch and realize you are going to be late for an appointment, don't sweat it. Relax, just get there when you can. And if you get to your meeting and the other person is not there, call them. They weren't sure YOU were going to be there so they are probably close by and will show up after you call. And if your mother fell out of her rocker and you had to take her to the hospital this morning, the person you were supposed to meet at ten am will be completely understanding when you call at 4pm to explain. After all , life happens right. No need to get your knickers in twist, as the English say. All of this makes the everyday stress level go way down and will, after awhile, make you realize how wound up everyone in North America is. 

   So this brings us to point two that is essential to you maintaining your sanity here. So here it is. No one here wants to say "no", or "I don't know" to you. They will twist themselves in knots to be friendly and

helpful. This can't be a bad thing right? Well... if you ask someone "Can you tell me how to get to get to such and such?" they will say "Of course (por supuesto)," just go straight for two blocks, turn left, go three blocks, turn right, go half a block and you are there". One of two things will happen now. You will get there fine, or you will end up in the river! Why would someone do that I hear you saying. Well, they want to be friendly and helpful. And it might be there, or you might pass it on the way. You will leave happy and by the time you realize that its not there they will be long gone and you will be someone else's problem. And that person will probably have the right answer, so everyone wins!

   There is a solution to the above problem which is an essential part of living in Ecuador, so focus and pay attention. Ready? Here it is. Ask Lots of Questions! Never accept the first answer at face value. Remember, everyone wants you to be happy so bad news is hard to pry loose. If you are talking to a contractor and he says the job will be done Friday, ask questions! What he means is, if the concrete shows up on time, and his lazy ass brother-in-law actually gets back from wherever he has disappeared to, then maybe it will be done a week from next Wednesday. If you ask questions he will grudgingly admit this with a grin and you will have a better idea of what's happening. And don't just walk away and come back a week from Tuesday expecting the job to done, the way you would at home, Call! Regularly! That way you stay on the top of the To Do pile at your contractors home office. Your job will be done, and done well. Just not necessarily on your preferred timetable. And everyone gets to enjoy life and not ruin it with stress trying to juggle too many balls.

   Which brings up another point. NEVER get mad and raise your voice!!! This is a nonconfrontational society. Remember the To Do pile in your contractors office I mentioned above? The quickest way to the bottom of the pile is to raise your voice. And this is true everywhere, stores, Government offices, restaurants, you name it. If you are the angry American (or any nationality) you will get nothing done quicker by raising your voice. Just the opposite. "Who are you again?" On the other hand, a smile and a pleasant attitude will work miracles. And everyone wants to live where people are smiling and pleasant right? Well here they are.

So, those are a few things you should be prepared for when you get to lovely Ecuador. Friendly people who want to help in any way they can but who also remember that life is to be lived and enjoyed, not stressed over every day. And if you need help, believe me, they will be the first to step up. I will have another advice page in a few days . Stay tuned.

Footnote:

As you saw from our last post, we lost Coral after a long battle with diabetes and cancer. After much soul searching the picture below are the two new additions to our family. Say hello to brother and sister,

                                              NICK and NORA

And, in the future, if the blog posts seem a bit disjointed this is why

What Greater Gift is There Than the Warmth and Purr of a Cat?

                     What greater gift is there than the warmth and purr of a cat?

Our foursome has been broken.

Ken, Dylan and I said goodbye to Coral, my precious, longtime furry friend on March 18th.

Coral died of a cancerous tumor, a common occurrence in cats with diabetes as they age. But we made sure she didn't suffer. Her last few weeks were full of attention and  lots of her favourite treats. 

She had a full life. One that was extraordinary for a cat. Her life first started on a sailboat then continued on a trawler. Sailing and cruising around the beautiful gulf islands and the coastline of British Columbia at her leisure. She was almost carried away by an eagle in Barkley Sound. She fell into the water twice but somehow jumped or climbed back aboard, appearing like a drowned rat. (We will never know how she was able to arrive back onto our boat safely.) Her final year was spent in the warm sunny climate of Ecuador after successfully making the five day journey from Vancouver, through Mexican customs into Quito, Ecuador where we all travelled in a mini van for two days to Loja. Wherever we landed, she got out of her carrier, looked around, looked at us, and settled right in. As long as we were together she was happy.

Her lack of presence during these past few weeks has been heartbreakingly difficult especially since we have spent more time together than ever this past year in curfews and lockdowns throughout this pandemic.

                                            Coral's nickname was Beannie.

Beannie was buried with her Canadian beaver toy in a Loja finca under a flowering bougainvillea. She was 15 years old.

We've all either been given the poem 'The Rainbow Bridge' or read it when a beloved pet has passed... perhaps we will meet again on the rainbow bridge.