Well loyal followers, it's been awhile. I have been derelict in my duties to you so I will try to make it up to you today. After all, I know you are all depending on me to provide you with the straight dope on what's happening down here. I thought it might be time for an overview of the little we have learned about living in Ecuador as an expat. So here goes.
I know I've said this before, but if you are considering coming here and living you are going to have to give up some, or many, of your expectations. If you are thinking you will just live exactly as you are now but with better weather and for less money then you should stay home. Because you will have to adjust. A lot. So give me your hand and I will try to lead you around some of the pot holes you will encounter.
Here's your first lesson, learn it well. It is crucial to you mental health. Ready? OK.
Time means nothing here! Seems an innocuous statement but it will affect every aspect of your life. And unless you accept it as a fact of life, and not something you can do something about, it will drive you crazy and send you home with your tail between your legs. Here's an example. You make an appointment with someone, a tradesman, a dentist, a friend, whatever, and you say you will meet them at a particular place at two pm. You show up at the designated meeting place at one fifty-five and you wait. And you wait. And wait! Now they may show up at two thirty, at three, or never. What you have failed to realize is that your appointment is only a loose expectation and something more urgent may happen, which might preclude them keeping the appointment, and why wouldn't you understand that . Happens to everyone right? Why would you get upset? Unless you are dying and need urgent surgery, everything can wait until tomorrow, or the next day. It will happen, just not necessarily on your time schedule. And believe it or not, for you this attitude has some benefits if you take a moment to think about them. For a start if you look at your watch and realize you are going to be late for an appointment, don't sweat it. Relax, just get there when you can. And if you get to your meeting and the other person is not there, call them. They weren't sure YOU were going to be there so they are probably close by and will show up after you call. And if your mother fell out of her rocker and you had to take her to the hospital this morning, the person you were supposed to meet at ten am will be completely understanding when you call at 4pm to explain. After all , life happens right. No need to get your knickers in twist, as the English say. All of this makes the everyday stress level go way down and will, after awhile, make you realize how wound up everyone in North America is.
So this brings us to point two that is essential to you maintaining your sanity here. So here it is. No one here wants to say "no", or "I don't know" to you. They will twist themselves in knots to be friendly and
helpful. This can't be a bad thing right? Well... if you ask someone "Can you tell me how to get to get to such and such?" they will say "Of course (por supuesto)," just go straight for two blocks, turn left, go three blocks, turn right, go half a block and you are there". One of two things will happen now. You will get there fine, or you will end up in the river! Why would someone do that I hear you saying. Well, they want to be friendly and helpful. And it might be there, or you might pass it on the way. You will leave happy and by the time you realize that its not there they will be long gone and you will be someone else's problem. And that person will probably have the right answer, so everyone wins!
There is a solution to the above problem which is an essential part of living in Ecuador, so focus and pay attention. Ready? Here it is. Ask Lots of Questions! Never accept the first answer at face value. Remember, everyone wants you to be happy so bad news is hard to pry loose. If you are talking to a contractor and he says the job will be done Friday, ask questions! What he means is, if the concrete shows up on time, and his lazy ass brother-in-law actually gets back from wherever he has disappeared to, then maybe it will be done a week from next Wednesday. If you ask questions he will grudgingly admit this with a grin and you will have a better idea of what's happening. And don't just walk away and come back a week from Tuesday expecting the job to done, the way you would at home, Call! Regularly! That way you stay on the top of the To Do pile at your contractors home office. Your job will be done, and done well. Just not necessarily on your preferred timetable. And everyone gets to enjoy life and not ruin it with stress trying to juggle too many balls.
Which brings up another point. NEVER get mad and raise your voice!!! This is a nonconfrontational society. Remember the To Do pile in your contractors office I mentioned above? The quickest way to the bottom of the pile is to raise your voice. And this is true everywhere, stores, Government offices, restaurants, you name it. If you are the angry American (or any nationality) you will get nothing done quicker by raising your voice. Just the opposite. "Who are you again?" On the other hand, a smile and a pleasant attitude will work miracles. And everyone wants to live where people are smiling and pleasant right? Well here they are.
So, those are a few things you should be prepared for when you get to lovely Ecuador. Friendly people who want to help in any way they can but who also remember that life is to be lived and enjoyed, not stressed over every day. And if you need help, believe me, they will be the first to step up. I will have another advice page in a few days . Stay tuned.
Footnote:
As you saw from our last post, we lost Coral after a long battle with diabetes and cancer. After much soul searching the picture below are the two new additions to our family. Say hello to brother and sister,
NICK and NORA
And, in the future, if the blog posts seem a bit disjointed this is why
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