Advice -Part two

  I promised a Part Two which unfortunately means I have to provide one. Here it is. Enjoy.

   Understand one thing when you come to Ecuador, there is such a thing as the Gringo Price. On a lot of things. But understand another thing. You can bargain. Everywhere! Even the big box department stores will bargain. But you have to ask. More on that in a moment. Lets get back to the Gringo Price. 

When you go in to buy something here, the proprietor will quickly size you up and ask for whatever he thinks you might accept depending on his estimation of what he thinks you can pay. As a gringo it is just assumed you have money. Get used to it. Cry poverty all you want. In reality, even if you are as poor as a church mouse, I'll bet you live in a house or apartment with a bed for everyone and I'll bet you have money in the bank. So already you are better off than at least twenty five percent of the people here. Which doesn't mean you should have to pay more for everything, it just means the vendor is going to try to get a bit more from you than from someone that he knows is still cooking over an open fire in their house. And if he does get a bit more from you he can afford to get a bit less from that other person and, at the end of the day, still pay his bills.  So the question becomes, what are you going to do about it? You have three options; get mad, pout or bargain. We already covered option one previously. Option two is surprisingly ineffective. Which leaves, bargaining!

   Now sometimes it's just not worth it. If the going rate at the market for a dozen bananas is one dollar and you get asked for a dollar twenty five, is it worth it to bargain for twenty five cents? Personally, I don't think so. Pay and forget it, or don't shop there next time. However, if I get asked for a dollar fifty, I feel like I'm being taken advantage of and I will start the

process. Which means of course that you need to do some research. Shop a bit. See what other people are paying before you buy. And guess what, hanging around the market is FUN! Remember what I said last time about asking questions? People, no matter how or where they live, are proud, and are pleased to answer questions from someone who is genuinely curious to know and understand their culture. You will certainly see things you don't recognize and if you inquire about what they are and how to prepare them, people are more than happy to explain. And free samples are always proffered. Next time you come back you are suddenly bargaining with a smiling friend and no doubt you will get the local price. You can still bargain but now you are bargaining with a smile on your face. You are in on the game and not a sucker being taken advantage of. Practice your disappointed face. Whip it out when the price is mentioned. In the beginning it takes a bit of time but eventually when you go to the market you are spending time with friends rather than in a soulless, shrink-wrapped supermarket. And, because I know you have fully absorbed the lessons in part one, you are not rushing from one meeting to the next appointment so you can enjoy yourself.

   But what about the big box store I hear you ask? What if I'm buying a TV for instance? An aside here. Bring your heart medication with you if you are buying anything with a plug. There are no bargains here for those items compared to North America. The customs duties on items like this are heavy compared to the US and Canada, you will pay more. A lot more! But because the amounts are bigger it is even more important to shave some off if you can. 

   

   So bargain hard, having done your research of course. And don't be afraid to walk out. With a smile remember, you may be coming back if you can't do better elsewhere. Don't worry, if you left on good terms, even if you didn't buy, you will be welcomed back. Actually the owner will be very happy to see you because he knows the ropes. He knows you went looking and couldn't find a lower price so now you are back.  He'll probably throw in something to make you feel better now that he is clearly the winner. You will recognize when you have reached the final price, believe me. More than you want to pay? Well, you watch too much TV anyway!

   So now we move on to two other things which you will notice immediately when you  arrive in Ecuador. The first is how much smaller personal space is here. On the street you will start thinking people dislike Gringos . They will bump you in crowds and they will be breathing down your neck when you are standing in line for something. Relax, it's just that in public, personal space is not as important here as it is at home. It might be that it seems people will cut in line here without a thought if they can, so maybe people bunch up to stop it. I don't know. Just be aware. It's not you. It's the one thing Covid-19 helped, with the emphasis on social distancing. We will have to see if that carries on. I just mention it here so you won't take it personally.

   The second thing is a flip of the above, if you are older. There is a lot of respect for the elderly here. As a consequence, if you are older or have grey hair, as a general rule you will be immediately be waved to the front of the line. In fact, in many places there will be lines just for the elderly. And you qualify even if you are a Gringo. And believe me I take full advantage! As a result when I go to pay the phone bill or go to the bank, I will be in and out before the other line has even moved. Revel in your geezer-hood my friends, here it has advantages.

So, in conclusion, ask for the discount (sometimes called a "yapa"), bargain like an east coast fishwife, remembering that it's not personal so leave with a smile. And take advantage of those wrinkles, here they are respected. As they should be if you ask me.

Advice, part one

       Well loyal followers, it's been awhile. I have been derelict in my duties to you so I will try to make it up to you today. After all, I know you are all depending on me to provide you with the straight dope on what's happening down here. I thought it might be time for an overview of the little we have learned about living in Ecuador as an expat. So here goes.

    I know I've said this before, but if you are considering coming here and living you are going to have to give up some, or many, of your expectations. If you are thinking you will just live exactly as you are now but with better weather and for less money then you should stay home. Because you will have to adjust. A lot. So give me your hand and I will try to lead you around some of the pot holes you will encounter.

   Here's your first lesson, learn it well. It is crucial to you mental health. Ready? OK.

  Time means nothing here!  Seems an innocuous statement but it will affect every aspect of your life. And unless you accept it as a fact of life, and not something you can do something about, it will drive you crazy and send you home with your tail between your legs. Here's an example. You make an appointment with someone, a tradesman, a dentist, a friend, whatever, and you say you will meet them at a particular place at two pm. You show up at the designated meeting place at one fifty-five and you wait.  And you wait. And wait! Now they may show up at two thirty, at three, or never. What you have failed to realize is that your appointment is only a loose expectation and something more urgent may happen, which might preclude them keeping the appointment, and why wouldn't you understand that . Happens to everyone right? Why would you get upset? Unless you are dying and need urgent surgery, everything can wait until tomorrow, or the next day. It will happen, just not necessarily on your time schedule. And believe it or not, for you this attitude has some benefits if you take a moment to think about them. For a start if you look at your watch and realize you are going to be late for an appointment, don't sweat it. Relax, just get there when you can. And if you get to your meeting and the other person is not there, call them. They weren't sure YOU were going to be there so they are probably close by and will show up after you call. And if your mother fell out of her rocker and you had to take her to the hospital this morning, the person you were supposed to meet at ten am will be completely understanding when you call at 4pm to explain. After all , life happens right. No need to get your knickers in twist, as the English say. All of this makes the everyday stress level go way down and will, after awhile, make you realize how wound up everyone in North America is. 

   So this brings us to point two that is essential to you maintaining your sanity here. So here it is. No one here wants to say "no", or "I don't know" to you. They will twist themselves in knots to be friendly and

helpful. This can't be a bad thing right? Well... if you ask someone "Can you tell me how to get to get to such and such?" they will say "Of course (por supuesto)," just go straight for two blocks, turn left, go three blocks, turn right, go half a block and you are there". One of two things will happen now. You will get there fine, or you will end up in the river! Why would someone do that I hear you saying. Well, they want to be friendly and helpful. And it might be there, or you might pass it on the way. You will leave happy and by the time you realize that its not there they will be long gone and you will be someone else's problem. And that person will probably have the right answer, so everyone wins!

   There is a solution to the above problem which is an essential part of living in Ecuador, so focus and pay attention. Ready? Here it is. Ask Lots of Questions! Never accept the first answer at face value. Remember, everyone wants you to be happy so bad news is hard to pry loose. If you are talking to a contractor and he says the job will be done Friday, ask questions! What he means is, if the concrete shows up on time, and his lazy ass brother-in-law actually gets back from wherever he has disappeared to, then maybe it will be done a week from next Wednesday. If you ask questions he will grudgingly admit this with a grin and you will have a better idea of what's happening. And don't just walk away and come back a week from Tuesday expecting the job to done, the way you would at home, Call! Regularly! That way you stay on the top of the To Do pile at your contractors home office. Your job will be done, and done well. Just not necessarily on your preferred timetable. And everyone gets to enjoy life and not ruin it with stress trying to juggle too many balls.

   Which brings up another point. NEVER get mad and raise your voice!!! This is a nonconfrontational society. Remember the To Do pile in your contractors office I mentioned above? The quickest way to the bottom of the pile is to raise your voice. And this is true everywhere, stores, Government offices, restaurants, you name it. If you are the angry American (or any nationality) you will get nothing done quicker by raising your voice. Just the opposite. "Who are you again?" On the other hand, a smile and a pleasant attitude will work miracles. And everyone wants to live where people are smiling and pleasant right? Well here they are.

So, those are a few things you should be prepared for when you get to lovely Ecuador. Friendly people who want to help in any way they can but who also remember that life is to be lived and enjoyed, not stressed over every day. And if you need help, believe me, they will be the first to step up. I will have another advice page in a few days . Stay tuned.

Footnote:

As you saw from our last post, we lost Coral after a long battle with diabetes and cancer. After much soul searching the picture below are the two new additions to our family. Say hello to brother and sister,

                                              NICK and NORA

And, in the future, if the blog posts seem a bit disjointed this is why

What Greater Gift is There Than the Warmth and Purr of a Cat?

                     What greater gift is there than the warmth and purr of a cat?

Our foursome has been broken.

Ken, Dylan and I said goodbye to Coral, my precious, longtime furry friend on March 18th.

Coral died of a cancerous tumor, a common occurrence in cats with diabetes as they age. But we made sure she didn't suffer. Her last few weeks were full of attention and  lots of her favourite treats. 

She had a full life. One that was extraordinary for a cat. Her life first started on a sailboat then continued on a trawler. Sailing and cruising around the beautiful gulf islands and the coastline of British Columbia at her leisure. She was almost carried away by an eagle in Barkley Sound. She fell into the water twice but somehow jumped or climbed back aboard, appearing like a drowned rat. (We will never know how she was able to arrive back onto our boat safely.) Her final year was spent in the warm sunny climate of Ecuador after successfully making the five day journey from Vancouver, through Mexican customs into Quito, Ecuador where we all travelled in a mini van for two days to Loja. Wherever we landed, she got out of her carrier, looked around, looked at us, and settled right in. As long as we were together she was happy.

Her lack of presence during these past few weeks has been heartbreakingly difficult especially since we have spent more time together than ever this past year in curfews and lockdowns throughout this pandemic.

                                            Coral's nickname was Beannie.

Beannie was buried with her Canadian beaver toy in a Loja finca under a flowering bougainvillea. She was 15 years old.

We've all either been given the poem 'The Rainbow Bridge' or read it when a beloved pet has passed... perhaps we will meet again on the rainbow bridge.

 

Cabin Fever

 

 I'm sure you are all aware of the term "cabin fever". On the off chance that you are not, think of a lonely prospector in the far north, or a trapper up in the mountains, getting ready for winter. He gets his provisions stored, cuts and stacks the winter's firewood, and as the first snow flies he closes all the windows, fires up his stove and settles back for six or seven months of frozen solitude. 

   At first things are fine. He reads books, cooks, stokes the fire, goes back to his book and then goes to bed. In the morning, possibly he has to break some ice in order to carry some water from the nearby stream for washing and coffee and maybe he (or she!) has to split a few logs for the stove . But after breakfast, basically it's back to his book until dinner and bedtime. And this is the routine day after day, for months. And months. And months! No one to talk to, no one to share a laugh with, no one to argue with except maybe his cat or dog if he's lucky enough to have one. 

   Then one day he has a very interesting conversation with himself, out loud! He broods for days over this, and what he should have said to himself. A few days later he has an argument. With himself! And then another. A week later he throws his dinner against the wall and tells himself that he will no longer put up with the crap that his self is cooking for him. He almost comes to blows with himself, and he threatens to sleep in the other room if things don't improve. After another few days he makes good on his threat and starts sleeping in the second bedroom, in the one room cabin. In the spring his partners discover his frozen body on the porch of his cabin!     Cabin Fever!

   The world is getting cabin fever! I am getting cabin fever! And it hasn't been a few months, it's been a year!! And just when it looked like the cold weather was breaking and spring was around the corner we are told, "get back inside, another blizzard is coming!" I haven't spoken a coherent conversation to anyone except Sharon for months. At least not live. There are zoom calls, but I am now having trouble distinguishing them from the television. Are you people real or am I in The Truman Show? And after sitting inside for a year doing nothing I now have nothing to say. Nothing new has happened to me. Sharon gets out hiking with a few friends regularly but because I am the living embodiment of the 2000 Year Old Man, and have no spleen, I have to be wary of people walking by our apartment building, three floors below! Sharon had to drag me off the balcony the other day when I started shouting at someone a block away who was not wearing a mask. If you saw me early in the morning out walking the dog you would mistake me for The Elephant Man as I scurry through the shadows staying as far away from all those diseased wretches as possible. Sharon keeps looking at me as if she expects me to suddenly shout "HERE'S JOHNNY!"

   So what's my point you ask? Why am I on this strange tirade? The following is an excerpt from my latest inner monologue and is meant for my ears only. You can safely skip it and go on to the conclusion.

   "But I'm so bored, when is this going to end? HEY! Remember when Niles slapped Frasier's face for suggesting they go to a restaurant where they didn't even NEED a reservation. Wake up! No one is asking you to charge over a hill in the face of rifles and artillery. No one is asking you to suit up with three layers of PPE and spend 14 hours on your feet trying to save the life of someone who had to go to work or face starvation. All they are doing is asking you to stay at home and watch another bad movie on your big screen TV. But its been a year and I'm afraid it will never end. HEY! Remember when Cher slapped Nicholas Cage's face and shouted Snap Out of It? Well, SNAP OUT OF IT! This is going to end and you will go out and bask in the freedom and never again take your privilege for granted, I hope. Remember, I know you. You will remember and will exaggerate your sacrifice to anyone who will listen until their eyes roll back in their heads. So buckle up, pull up your socks and get back inside and watch the latest episode of The Rich Housewives of Salt Lake City. You can do it, I know you can."

   What, are you still here? I thought I could hear you snoring. I guess the point of this is, don't give up when the gold, and the goal, is so close. Once again the hospital intensive care is overflowing and the system is stretched to the limit and beyond. Much as we want it to be, this is not over. Take a deep breath and carry on carrying on. If we are not on the front lines of this fight we have only one job. Don't make it harder for those that are. I can do this, WE can do this. The fighting will stop one day. The snow will melt. And when it does and we stumble, bleary eyed, out of our fox holes, and cabins, we want to be able to say  "I love the sound of laughter in the morning".

   And my apologies to all the script writers I twisted and plagiarized!

The Loss of the Familiar

   

  One of the things about living abroad that continually rears its head at unexpected times is how much we rely on the familiar in our daily lives. How often we simply do things without thinking. How habits are ingrained in us to the extent that no brain power at all is required to accomplish most of our daily tasks. Living abroad brings that to light almost every day and it can be cumulatively disconcerting to some people. And, at its worst, it can be the thing that sends people back to the comfort of what they know.

   I was reminded of this in the simplest way the other day when I was trying to do a minor repair around the apartment. This little chore required a small wrench to tighten a nut. I realized that at home in Canada I had a variety of tools acquired over the years that made any simple chore around the house just a case of going to my tool chest, picking out the right tool, and finishing the task. No thought or planning was involved and I could crank up the tunes and happily work away while thinking about something else entirely. The result was a feeling of security and control over things that lent a sense of comfort to life. Whatever happens I've coped before and I will again. I'm prepared.

 However, as an expat in a new and somewhat bewildering place, that is not the case. When some simple task arises that took no thought at home I am now faced with a myriad of tasks and decisions that require research, forethought and planning. To tighten a nut I can no longer go to my tool box. I no longer have a tool box. I do have a screw driver, but no wrenches. They were gifted to friends on our departure and are now saving other peoples lives. As a result I feel abandoned and alone. Adrift. Untethered. Insecure. At the mercy of fates I don't understand. Can I still take care of hearth and home like I did before? Presented with enough of these in one day and it can feel like its time to pull the covers over your head and have a good mental breakdown. And I'm not even going to begin to throw in Covid 19!

So now I have to think. That fact is novel when it comes to a little job like this. Is the nut Imperial or Metric? Should I buy just one wrench or should buy a set in anticipation of other larger and more serious problems in the future? But do I want to carry around a set of wrenches in case we move in the future? Where is the nearest Ferriteria (hardware store)? Is my Spanish sufficient to communicate exactly what I need? What time is it, since the Ferriteria may be closed for siesta? How much do I want to spend for something I may never use again? Is there someone I know here that I could borrow a wrench from? Are they expats or local, and if they are local can my Spanish survive trying to explain what I need?

By now I am paralyzed by the magnitude of the problem and the on going consequences of this huge decision. It might be time for a nap. There is nothing in this world which is not improved by a nap, and then procrastination. 

But the point of this little diatribe is that when you become an expat in a foreign country your life becomes a never ending series of life altering decisions like the above. Imagine all the decisions you have made over the past fifty years and then imagine that you are now going to be asked to make them all again. It can lead to a profound sense of insecurity. A feeling of being adrift and unanchored, at the mercy of fates that you thought you had already successfully conquered. Time to put your tail between your legs and head home where everything is as it should be and everything is in its place.

But there is another option, and there is a trick involved. At least there is for me. Luckily for you I am prepared to give you this secret Absolutely Free! No purchase is necessary. Simply read on and my remarkable ground breaking discovery can be yours to use forever. You can thank me by passing it on to other overwhelmed new expats.

So here it is. No problem needs to be completely solved before taking step one. The one thing you have in abundance now is, time. Start by taking step one before worrying about step two. You need a wrench. Who sells wrenches? Go there. With your nut. As you wend your way remember all the happy hours you have spent in the past, searching for just the right electric multi headed power nut driver and orbital sander with optional juice blender. And relive that glorious feeling of success you felt when you found it. That feeling can be yours again. Almost every day! Before you know it you will be home with the solution and your wife will have her hero protector back. Adjust your cape and look around for other mountains to climb. After all, this is what humans do right? Solve problems. Rather than being overwhelmed you will discover a new focus and meaning to life which  had eluded you as you sat complacently in your Lazy Boy, growing moss on your north side. You can do this! And you will rediscover what made life fun when you were young(er)! Along the way you will also discover that you have new things to talk about and a new confidence in your ability to cope with whatever comes your way. As an added bonus you will become the go to guy for people looking to borrow tools which they will never return. Finally you will be the life of expat parties with your new knowledge of obscure Spanish names for common tools and a font of wisdom about where to find anything. 

   But one note of caution. you will have to let go of the idea that there is only one right way to do anything. You will have to suppress the instinct to shout "No, don't do it like that! This is the correct way!" Remember, you are a guest here, and if the host wants to cook his meat without the aid of your multi directional meat thermometer and cordless Bluetooth receiver, until it resembles a piece of tanned buffalo hide, smile and chew silently. At home, with the doors locked, you can use the correct apparatus and cook it how you like it. And when your new local friends come to your place and you triumphantly present them with a beautifully rare steak they will smile and secretly think you are a pleasant but strangely uncivilized barbarian. But, like you, they will eat, nod politely in appreciation, and promise themselves to only meet you in restaurants in the future.

Safely Amusing Myself

                          Safely Amusing Myself During These Tumultuous Times

Since the beginning of the pandemic, Ecuador has been rated #2 in total deaths by the John Hopkins University. This rating is largely due to the deadly surge in Quito (capital city) and Guayaquil (largest port city) in March and April of 2020. Since April, Ecuador has fared well and it's hospitals are no longer overwhelmed with critical Covid patients. Ken and I continue to feel safe and we eagerly await our vaccinations (an unknown date at this time but Lojano first responders and medical teams have had their first shots.)

                       Hiking has become my saviour; el senderismo es mi salvador.

My social interactions are kept outdoors enjoying the fresh air and exploring the local areas of Loja and Vilcabamba.  Once or twice a week, I meet up with a Lojano for a conversational language trade. We walk and talk (caminar y hablar), or sometimes sing because I'm helping a singer with his pronunciation of English pop songs by non other than, Michael Buble. We walk in a local picturesque park along the Zamora River (Bioparque Orillas del Zamora) that has horses, llamas, cows, and donkeys.  

Here are my Sunday hiking pals. We call ourselves The Chicken Drama Jungle Club since we've had a few interesting encounters with local chickens and Marion's three dogs. We now have that drama under control.  (Yes, I was reprimanded by Ken for the lack of social distancing in this photo)

Left to right: me, Marion and Camille who are from France and teach for the French Alliance school (Alianza Frances) in Loja, and Bladimir, a Lojano who teaches English for a local school. All education is currently online. The government had planned to have schools operating in person (clases presenciales) this past January but decided against this for the foreseeable future.

We usually hail a cab from city centre (one that takes dogs) for 2 - 3$  to get to a local trail head and hike to a waterfall (cascada) or walk along the water canal system in the mountains for a few hours then share a picnic in the slopes of bonita Loja.

                        

                                                                                    

 

                                                                                                                                                  
     On Thursdays, I often join a hiking group   from Vilcabamba, The Vilca Hikers.                                          

This group is mostly expats from around the world. While hiking, I hear Polish, Arabic, German, Spanish and American. So far, I'm the only one who speaks fluent Canadian!

(I've yet to rid myself of the "ehs")

                                

The climate and terrain is quite different in the Vilcabamba area which is 40 km south of Loja. In parts, it feels like a desert compared to Loja. (Above and left) This is the Cerro Mandango hike ('The Sleeping Inca'), rated difficult and often an initiation hike because of the elevation gain of 1700 ft. in less than 2 km. There are amazing views once one reaches the nose and then you can continue trekking carefully up a narrow trail, at times using all fours, to climb higher for the best views of the Valley of Longevity and surrounding mountains.

    At first I was a little hesitant to continue to the highest elevation because there had been a hiker who had fallen to her death the previous month on this particular section of the climb. Obviously I overcame this hesitancy and I can happily report - no injuries nor deaths!

       

                                                                     
        

We see birds of prey (hawks and eagles) and hear song birds in the canopies of the trees (I need more patience to capture them by camera). Once in awhile we'll see an opossum, red squirrels, and kinkajous. The best sighting so far, and captured by camera, was the South American coati in Podocarpus National Park (see Oct post 2020; We Interrupt Our Serial) 

And, lots of colourful insects, moths and butterflies. I have also seen tarantulas, but nothing too scary or dangerous (yet?)

This is a glass-winged butterfly; mariposa transparente.

They are common in Ecuador but often hard to spot let alone capture a photo of one. I got lucky this day.

One never knows who, or what, you will meet along a trail...

                     This fellow escorted us along the trail for a couple of kilometers.

                    This was last Sunday's hike. Following a river up to a cascada, 

                                  a popular trail for the local cattle as well.

    And! Carol Lepine (fellow Canadian) popped up a few times during a recent hike too.

                                                     

This cartoon perfectly expresses my, and probably everyone's, feelings about Covid 19 and the restrictions it has placed on all of us. I can only be thankful that Ken and I are in a place where we can still get outside on a regular basis to enjoy nature. All the rest of the things we came to Ecuador for will return in due course. And when they do this blog will be a much more interesting visit for you.

Cuidate nuestros amigos.

One Year!

 Here we are at one year! Hard to believe! January 19, 2020 was the day we arrived in Loja and took up residence in the Air BnB we had booked. All the hard work and planning we had done over the previous two years had finally paid off. We looked around and realized that for better or worse this was going to be our life for the foreseeable future. But little did we know!! And who could have? Nostradamus maybe, I should have checked.

We did get a month to get ourselves organized before the proverbial hit the fan, so in many ways the fates did protect us from being in the middle of nowhere when everything went south. Our first few weeks here we were able to wander the streets, explore the city a bit, get ourselves an apartment, go to some concerts, and in general settle into what we thought was going to be our new life. And then the Gods said, "Sit down and shut up, we have bigger things to do  right now!" Eleven months later I still feel like a kid who has been bad and is sitting on a little chair in the corner, facing the wall, and waiting for the recess bell to release him. 

Of course it has had its moments and, after the first wave in March when things looked pretty grim, especially in Guayaquil, the experience has been more boring than frightening.  Kind of like standing at the window of the bakery looking at all the treats, but the store is closed. The sad part is that because I am slightly older than Methuselah at this point and therefore a prime candidate to take it between the eyes if I'm not careful, I have to look at everyone I meet as if they are the Walking Dead in disguise. Not a great attitude when trying to make friends in a new place. Picture the guy with a knapsack on his back trying to get an unescorted tour of Fort Knox.  "You do realize that before you can get within six feet of Mr. Taylor you will have to strip naked and have a thorough body cavity scan!".  Needless to say I can count my new Ecuadorian friends on one finger. I have some

acquaintances who will wave to me from afar before they scurry off down the street, but friends, no. And although Sharon has made friends, as she always does, they are beginning to think she has me locked in a tower somewhere, if I exist at all! She did bring a few over at Christmas, one at a time, during my scheduled feedings, to show them what she has to put up with. But basically I am the man in the iron mask.

But we have made it this far, and looking back it has been a good decision. I've put on a jacket twice in the last year. The butter is always as I like it, soft. I am disappointed that the planned festivities scheduled to celebrate our one year anniversary had to be cancelled. If you go back to the beginning of this blog you will see the lengths that the local dignitaries went to to acknowledge our arrival, with bands and military parades and children in native costumes giving thanks at local churches. On the upside, ever since I gave the guys on the garbage truck 20 bucks to buy beer at Christmas, I do get huge smiles and waves whenever they see me. It's the one time I feel sort of part of the community! Now I know what millionaires feel like when they buy new friends every few years! And there is one bonus to all this that is infrequently mentioned. If you DON'T want to see someone, you no longer have to dig deep to find excuses for being a curmudgeon. "Sorry, you're not in my bubble. You understand. Maybe next year." And then you secretly hope that one of you will be dead by then, hopefully them!

So, adjustments are being made and life goes on, thankfully without snow, which was a large part of the original plan. I joke about being isolated but everyone we have met here has been extremely welcoming and friendly. We are constantly presented with new challenges and experiences and that's what life is about, isn't it? That's how you grow and become a better and more interesting and evolved human being. People keep telling me that, for me, it should kick in any day now! I would like to be able to interact with more people so as to improve my Spanish. We are studying a couple of hours a day and Sharon is getting very good but the listening and understanding is still very slow. It's hard enough without trying to understand what's being said through a mask. But now I understand why people are slow to react when being held up by a masked bandit. Whoever thought that a pandemic would make me more sympathetic to criminals! Thankfully everyone here wears a mask at all times with little controversy and as a result, although there has been a bit of an uptick recently, there is nothing like the problems elsewhere. For now!! And being born in the crustaceous period means I will be near the top when the vaccine arrives. Then I will be out clubbing every night!

In our next post I promise I will get back to telling you about our wonderful fulfilling life here in the Land of Eternal Spring. This has just been a bit of a ramble through some dust bunnies in the back of my head. If there is anyone out there who still remembers who we are, we are doing great and, in looking back, would not change anything. Anything we have control over I mean. If I had the power, I would have cursed D.T. with a wart on the end of his nose that slowly grew to cover his entire face, but I digress. Here's hoping you all are warm and dry and have your three square meals a day. Everything else is a bonus!

 Remember, if you have change in your pocket you are better off than 90% of the people on earth!

Ken and Sharon do Cuenca

 

So we went to Cuenca a few weeks ago to get our cedulas. It’s like an identity card and you have to have one after a certain amount of time in Ecuador in order to access the health care system etc. Anyway, we were looking forward to the trip as it was going to be a nice break from the usual. Cuenca is a much bigger city than Loja, approximately 5 hundred thousand, and it’s where most of the expats land since the expat community is about 12,000. It’s also one of only three places in the country where you can get your cedula, Quito, Cuenca and Guayaquil.

We decided to take one of the mini vans that leave every hour from Loja for the four hour ride to Cuenca. $12 each and the dog was free. Taking the dog was cheaper than boarding him and the hotel was pet friendly. We had booked  a nice 5 star hotel, right in the center of the city for $50 a night, with breakfast

 At 7 am the next morning Sharon set off for her first appointment. I already had the final document she needed so I didn’t have to go. She was accompanied by our agent, Santiago who has been guiding us through this whole visa process. Be advised that it is more than worth the money to have an agent as the process is complicated enough without struggling with your rudimentary Spanish. (More on that later). Anyway, that went well and they were back by 11am and we all headed out to actually get the cedulas. The Central Registry office was a zoo, with people lined up out the door, but thankfully, everyone here wears a mask, everywhere! Eventually around 3pm we got to the head of the line, got fingerprinted, photographs taken, and then went to sit and wait for the cards. After about 45min my card showed up at the window but not Sharon’s. Out of an abundance of caution because of Covid and crowded spaces I went outside to wait. Sharon then proceeded to have all sorts of problems, had to go back and have the whole thing done again and it was almost 6pm before it was all satisfactory and we could leave. Oh well, that’s life in South America, learn patience. Could have been much worse.  Then a nice dinner at the hotel and early to bed.

Next morning the cab comes to pick us up at 10:30 for the 11am mini bus back to Loja and we are the only passengers with two drivers! How nice is that!  Off we go and before long it’s raining Gatos y Perros. After 3 hours we get to some stopped traffic and discover that the road has been overrun by a mudslide. After much discussion in our broken Spanish we understand we have two choices. Return to Cuenca, (3 hrs and another night in a hotel) or walk with the spare driver past the mudslide. He has called ahead and there will be a cab waiting for us on the other side to drive us on to Loja. After some more discussion we opt for the latter and set out. The mini bus heads back to Cuenca.

After wading through mud and rushing water up to our knees (remember the Gatos y Perros?) we get to the other side only to discover that not only do we have to hike 4 more kilometers but there are more mudslides before we get to where the cab is. And much of it is uphill. And it continues to rain, and before long it will be dark!  Lesson learned at this point? Keep up with the Spanish classes so you know what’s Really going on! Great advice, but the mini bus is gone, along with our options. I turn my head so no one will see me crying, and we head off.

Man, it was awful. Raining, mud, wet wife, wet dog, soon angry wife and resigned dog. I start slowly handing stuff I’m carrying to Sharon until she begins to look like my bearer. Hey, she’s twenty years younger than me, there has to be some advantages to being old! I’m positive it was more like six km, and after 4 hours of walking and    mudslides where we wade through quicksand like mud, desperately holding on to each other in order not to be swept away, we arrive in the little town of Santiago where the cab is. The main street is a foot deep in mud, water, rocks, and logs with traffic backed up for miles. But there’s our cab, a splendid looking chariot if I ever saw one!  When we get in I really should care that the back of the cab is getting caked in mud and water from us and the dog, but I don’t. Not I my friend. Too exhausted.

 We get home at eight. What should have been a 4 hour ride was 9 hours in total. I just turned on the hot water in the shower and walked in with my clothes on, dragging  the dog in with me. For awhile I thought all the mud would clog the drain, but shortly I am on my face, on the bed, out cold. Went for a short walk this morning but for the next few days the dog and I will be staying close to home. He’s just lying there, occasionally looking at up me as if to say “What the ….. was that??!” Anyway, all the above is by way of saying, this living in an exotic, foreign country is not all sun and roses. Occasionally you have to pay. But that’s true everywhere I suspect. Next time I will go back! Turns out I’m a hotel bar kind of guy. Who knew? Intrepid is gone. Hello to sitting in a comfortable chair with a cool drink at hand,  waiting for young folk to come up to me looking for wisdom. First piece of advice… don’t be a hero, take the bus back to the hotel.                                                                       

No telling how many lives I will save!

Merry Christmas

 Here's a big shout out to all our friends and regular readers. Just want you all to know we are well and ready to welcome the New Year. Some of you have been wondering if we are alright  since we haven't posted for  awhile. We were up in Cuenca to get our two year temporary residency visas and our cedulas a couple of weeks ago and the trip turned into an adventure of somewhat epic proportions. I was going to post about it earlier but the magazine International Living had expressed an interest in publishing the story and they didn't want it showing up on our blog as well. It now appears as though they are somewhat lacking in good taste so I will post the story here, with the gruesome pictures, very soon.

For now, here are the lucky couple celebrating with their hard won Cedulas and ready to meet 2021 head on. 

Hope you are all as well as we are and please, have a great holiday.

                           Yes, we are official temporary residents!   

         Remember, on January 1, hindsight will officially be 2020!

The Fight against Complacency

 Every time I start one of these I am awestruck by the size of my ego. To think that there is anyone who would care, one way or another, about what I think about anything is more than a trifle egotistical. But like a fat man looking at an eclair, it's there, I have to eat it. I had an idea, I have to write it down. And if you were foolish enough to get to this page by mistake, or even through carelessness, it's on your head. So today I post some personal thoughts about complacency, both usual and as it pertains to the pandemic.

The pandemic has been raging for months and at the moment is getting worse by the day. And yet the caution that I felt in the beginning has largely disappeared. I suppose through what they are calling "Covid fatigue". One can only stay on guard for so long before your attention starts to wander. You peek your head over the top of the trench and, ping, they pick you off. I seem to remember having the same problem in school, so why am I surprised; "Ken could do so much better if only he would pay attention in class!" An additional sixty years doesn't seem to have solved the problem. But at least now I know it's a problem and I try to guard against it. When an idea for doing something outside of the confines of my limited personal interactions comes up I have to slap my imaginary face more often now. That little voice that says "it'll be alright," has to be stomped on and shut back in the closet. And I have to keep reminding myself of how stupid I would feel if I was very careful for months and then died because I thought some event or occasion would make a nice blog post or a picture.  Here lies Ken Taylor, he got the picture. Too bad it was out of focus!

And I certainly don't think I am the only one. We all want our old life back. I'm trying, but I don't think I have fully incorporated the fact that that's not happening. Ever. Things will be different. The problem is, as yet, we don't know exactly how different. Is it simply that I will have to get an extra shot in the arm every few months or will I have to live the rest of my life wearing a giant rubber condom whenever I leave the house. Maybe that's the problem. I can't see the shape of the future. I just know I want to have one. So I have to keep telling myself that I shouldn't change what seems to be working. Ignore the sirens on the rocks that keep waving at me and saying that life is much more exciting where they are. They never tell you that it might be much shorter as well.

It is especially hard when you are in a new place and want to get out and experience it. Otherwise why are you here in the first place? Top that off with the fact that I have never been the poster boy for delayed gratification and you have a recipe for disaster. When my mother left the room and I was alone with two cookies, having just been told to save one for later, there was never a look of surprise on her face when she returned to find me licking the table top and not a cookie in sight. Oh she tried, I'll give her that. But I always seemed to know that there were more cookies where those came from. Couple that with the attention span of a flea and I was on to other things and other adventures. Which I proceeded to gobble up with equal abandon.

So what's my point? For the first time in seventy .....  years I am realizing that, this time, if I eat the second cookie there might not be any more. In fact, if I eat that cookie there might not be any more ME. Sobering thought. I want each of you to pause for a moment and take that in. Imagine how colourless and grey your life would be without me in it.  It won't matter to me, I'll be dead so I won't know, or care. But you! All of you will have to go through the rest of your drab and featureless existences without me and the constant inspiration I provide. And just now, realizing that, suddenly I an infused with a new commitment to the care and attention ... of me! I have new motivation. I can do this. For you, all of you. Even those of you who will be completely unaware of the work and sacrifice I am putting in. Just so you can continue to have an example before you of what can be achieved if you fritter away every opportunity presented to you and relentlessly pursue each shiny new bauble that appears on the horizon. A life some might deem wasted, but you and I know, is the pinnacle of achievement. That oh so exclusive club of dilatants and vagabonds secretly admired by everyone for their seemingly carefree and useless lives.  Grasshoppers of the world arise!

So I am hereby dedicating it to you, whoever and wherever you are. Come back to this blog in the coming months and realize that you have had a small part in its continued worldwide success. Please, no need to thank me. I am buoyed by picturing the statues that will be erected to me in the future and by the fact that, if I am really careful, I'll bet I can outlive The Orange Idiot. Now there's a goal, (and an opportunity to gloat!) that is worthy of striving for.

I am renewed. Thank you.